Saturday, November 17, 2007

By the seat of my pants

I just need a flippin' pair of pants. I want some pants that are casual and comfy but not a pair of jeans. I want them to fit at the top and to be long enough to touch my shoe tops on the bottom. I don't want them to look like a deflated balloon around the hips and legs. Some flare at the ankle is good. Liberty Bell wannabe look is bad. Gimme a zipper and one button, no annoying sliding things, and please, God, not a button fly.

My vision of what I want is clear. I can picture these pants, and by golly, if I could sew more than a button, I should just make them myself. Instead I hit the stores.

There I am faced with too many options. First of all, I fit into pants in every department of the store (okay, maybe not infants). Juniors, Ladies, Women's, all of these departments have pants I need to try. Interesting that a size 14 in Women's falls off, 14 in Ladies could belt around the bottom of the bra, and the one in Juniors would require a bikini wax before I'd attempt the zipper. Some pants come in lengths, which would be helpful. If I were a size 3 tall or a size 26 short I'd be all set. When I finally find one that fits on the top, the bottoms look like I'm preparing to enter a wading pool.

After all the fuss at the stores, it sure feels good to come home a put on a nice pair of elastic waist running shorts.


EJG said...

You need to do what us men do. We find a pair that fit, then buy five of them in different colors.

MJ said...

I can picture these pants, and by golly, if I could sew more than a button, I should just make them myself.
I have had this exact experience.

Some store should develop a kiosk where you click on each element that you want and then a little lady in a booth sews them. They come out at the bottom like a Coke from a machine. Aah, how refreshing.

Cora Spondence said...

The bikini wax before you try to zipper line was so excellent I almost winced at the sensory detail it conjured. Owie! You have it correct. There is no justice when finding a pair of pants that fit.

LJ said...

I have trouble finding pants that fit too. There aren't that many rail thin, and I don't mean fit, people in America so why are all the clothes designed to fit them?