Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Flax, Flux, and other 4 letter F words

Somebody I know turned me on to the product line of a company called Kashi.

How organic, granola, and good for me they sounded. And what's more, their stuff actually tastes good. So I embarked upon my relationship with their granola bars, a handy "gotta-getta snack" travel companion. Yummy and good for me.

Their breakfast cereals, Go Lean and its crunchy cousin. Double yum. Fills my empty morning tummy and leaves me satisfied mentally and gastro-intestinally. Protein, fiber, and everything that's right in the world, and all I have to do is pour it. No thinking required.

So when I saw their new cereal on the shelf I had to try it. I am, after all, a loyal Kashi customer, and someone who is absolutely committed to eating right (if it doesn't inconvenience me). I had high hopes for the Go Lean Honey Almond Flax combination. The nutty goodness of the almonds, the sweet natural honey, the omega acids, the crunchy satisfaction, and, of course, the flax. The husband was disinterested in the benefits of flax, thinking that anything that sounded too much like reflux was risky business. But I believe in Kashi, and whatever flax is, it must be good for me if they say so.

Apparently, flax is the health food equivalent of Drano. That stuff is seeking to clear the pipes with way more enthusiasm than necessary, like dusting the curio cabinet with a leaf blower. What a delicious sensation to sit on while riding aboard a fifty seat regional jet. I could hardly wait for the solace (and open windows) of the rented car I picked up at my destination.

I share this information not for the indulgent chuckle of an extended fart joke. That stuff isn't quite as funny as it was when I was 12. Well, it's still funny, but I share this as a warning. That flax stuff means business.


MJ said...

Am I allowed to share your blog with LJ? He's love it. My eyes are still watering from reading your post and laughing. He had a similar relationship with prunes; you'll note the Chuck Norris metaphor in his blog. (He also takes flax seed oil regularly...) Anyway, that is one of the dangers of Kashi and I've had to choose carefully which cereals work with my schedule. Did it taste good though?

Judabear said...

So he likes the flatulence jokes too, huh?

By all means. share away. My colon is public property

BTW- It tasted so good I had seconds. Oy.

Crazy Deb said...

Ess vie ein foygl sheise vie ein feirt!