All that was missing was the chalk outline

I don’t expect the posh, 5-star resorts. After all, I am just an educator, not a big business tycoon. But sometimes the places I have to stay are completely unacceptable. Last night was one of those times. When I arrived in the room I put out my cosmetics, jumped into my jammies, and prepared my clothing for the next morning’s workshop. Turning on the TV for company, I contemplated the dinner options. Based on the appearance of the hotel, I wasn’t willing to chance the hygiene in the kitchen. I logged on to Papa Johns.com and arranged for a pizza and diet coke delivery. Then I removed the bedspread (I saw what they found with UV lights on bedspreads) to sit on the blankets and watch Friends while waiting for the pizza guy. I found some disturbing stains that seemed to leak from the box spring onto the floor.

Upon further inspection, the carpet had not only stains, but also cigarette burn marks and strange discoloration on the chair.
I couldn’t determine the source of the stains, but I have read about the habits of bed bugs. I learned that they begin their feasting when lights go out, so there was no way the lights were going out. I attempted to sleep with the lights on, fighting myself against imagining what might have occurred in this bed. When dawn broke I stood in the nasty shower in my yesterday socks, exhausted from my sleepless night and wondering how I would last through the day and my two flights home. Bleary eyed, I noted some more dubious stains in the shower. Then, just for fun, I realized that in my stupor I had conditioned my hair with body lotion.