Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Something Got Me Thinking About My Baby

12 years, 6 months, and 19 days ago (give or take), a new life was entrusted to me. She was mine even before she was born of course, but my only responsibilities for the first nine months of motherhood were my own proper nutrition and hydration along with a daily brisk walk. Piece of cake. But on that afternoon, 12 years, 6 months, and 19 days ago, my responsibility increased exponentially. I had no idea how to be a mother. I wasn’t ready to be a mother (although I was so very ready to give birth) and they sent me home without an instruction manual.

Fortunately, my daughter was born with an itinerary, and she knew how to have her demands met. She still does. Back then it was easy. Feed me and hold me. Now her needs are more complicated. Teach me about gamma rays for my Science test tomorrow. Help me understand what’s happening to my body. Tell me what to do when the kids at school are mean. Explain to me why I like some boys but they don’t notice me. Show me how to learn about things like wars and terrorists but to not be scared.

Ah, the days of feed me and hold me. I could follow her lead, and through a combination of intuition (her daddy’s and mine) and her instinct for survival we made it through the early years. She grew and became stronger and mobile. I certainly didn’t think so then, during the long, sleepless night of infancy and toddlerhood, but those were the easy years. Today she still needs to be fed and to be held. We have that covered. When it comes to the other stuff, I haven’t figured some of those things out for myself. I was entrusted with that life on that afternoon 12 years, 6 months and 19 days ago and I can’t even answer her questions. Maybe we can figure out the answers together.


Heather & Mom said...

Sometimes it helps if we can try and remember what 12.5-ish feels like... yikes! Not that we can really compare - I mean, I remember passing notes in class - now they probably TM through their cell phones? And we used to come to school and talk about what we watched on TV last night (depending on what was on ABC, NBC or CBS...) Things are so incredibly different today! One thing is for sure though... you can get the majority of your answers online... what you can't get though are those warm hugs! ...not yet anyway :)

MJ said...

up in the wee hours with the life entrusted to me only 5 days ago...loved your post. only one free hand or i'd say more and use caps...