Burning

I am excited/horrified at the number of commitments I have made for my extra-curricular activities. Thrilled to be singing, learning repertoire, and getting ready to perform as I may be, I mourn the long-ago days of college when waking up to practice was about all I had to do. Back then there were no worries of ESOL, grading papers, or mortgage payments. Oh well, at least with the end of The Oliver Adventure I have a little more time to wiggle. I really wish I could be a 50% person, but I find that I throw myself into everything and expect the most , not satisfied when my performance doesn't reach the 100% of my expectations. I feel that way about my teaching too, though age and exhaustion (and maybe a little wisdom) have granted me the permission to exhale and assess the situation before I berate myself too badly. I can only do the most I can do with the conditions dealt to me. Anything more than that would require superpowers, and my cape never came in the mail. Funny... another teacher I know (like maybe, the BEST teacher I ever knew) must not have realized that they give us books, not capes. Yet somehow she can fly, and take the kids along with her, and still not miss a beat as a supermom back at home. Like me, I guess, feeling that 100% sometimes isn't enough.

Doing my Duty (Thanks for the picture, MJ)

I missed a day of blogging yesterday, but that's okay. I've been busy doing my duty. Whether it's turning a 3 day weekend into a 1 day weekend to travel and pick up some consulting work, or finishing out an ill-fated theatre project, staying at school until 5:30 to grade projects, or counting the 'tweens as they head off to their bus ride home (pictured) , I've been doing my duty. A bit too much duty lately, though, and neglecting of myself. Blogging, practicing, running, that's for me, and I have a duty to myself to indulge.

321/365 First Class Accommodations

It's a good thing I have the upgrade. Completing a rubric, stapling it to student work, comparing first drafts and revisions, creating teachers' running records and making "sticky note" comments for the kids takes space. Long flights used fruitfully are a good thing, but I think I'd rather be like the guy in front of me who started drinking martinis before we took off, and now is in happy dreamland.

298/365 What goes around

It's one of those round tower old-style hotels. This was where I did my first ever seminar, a day-long workshop for SDE on Four Square Writing, just a couple of weeks after 9/11/01. I thought it was familiar when I saw Hilton Oak Lawn on the itinerary for today. This was where it started. Now it is beautifully renovated, and I return to do a Four Square Writing seminar for another company, one of a dwindling schedule of seminar work. First time I was here I was easing my way out of the classroom, now I am easing my way back in. This building isn't the only thing circling back!

285/365 Several Layers of SUCK

UGH. Monday. I gave up a chorale practice to work, and though the money is good the day was BAD! No time for breakfast even though I woke at 5. Treadmill time, then a stop at the Wal-Mart in Mechanicsville, PA. Can't trust teachers to bring paper to a writing workshop, so I stopped and bought some. Then the workshop. District Literacy Coordinator wanted a pumped-up, high level Writing Workshop 2.0, so I worked, obsessed, researched and delivered.I should have known it would be a problem when she kvetched about making the handouts. Then they give me 200+ teachers in a cavernous auditorium. Nothing to write with or on, or even lean on. They couldn't collaborate, couldn't do all the things she said she wanted them to do. The Coordinator gave them 1 1/2 hours for lunch, so the itinerary I prepared was unfinished. Nice of her to offer to pick me up a salad. Not so nice of her to bring it in 5 minutes after we restarted the afternoon session. Run to the airport without even time to gas up car rental, and security search meant I didn't even have time to pee before boarding. The regional flight to Charlotte was nearly wheels down when the landing was aborted. Up and around, and 20 minutes later we landed. Sure, that was better than hitting the American plane in our way, but there went dinner (breakfast/lunch). When we did land we were held at the end of the runway for another 20 minutes to allow the firetrucks and ambulances access. The plane after us had called in an emergency. Ran to the connecting gate where they were already boarding (early!). L-O-V-E-D my center seat in row 23, 2 from the back. Loved the super-turbulent flight. Some days I'd like to erase from my memory...

230/365 Long Day Ahead

The "navigatrix" is cued up and ready to go. After I present a writing workshop to teachers from 8 AM to 4 PM today, I have a 4 1/2 hour drive across the great state of Ohio. I'll likely stop for dinner and at least a couple of tinkle breaks, so posting this evening is unlikely. Out on the road, chasing the dollar, I'm missing a lot this week. High School orientation is this afternoon, and the debrief is never quite as detailed over the phone. Tomorrow EG returns to the brain surgeon's office. Checking on his healing and talking about the future, these are conversations I regret having to miss. But with things as they are these days, I'll take the work when I can get it.

175/365 The Saga of Big Al

Heard a story from a fellow presenter and veteran of airport security. Evidently, the line was tied up at the Houston airport some time ago, when an unidentified electronic device was spotted by TSA. The presenter told that this device belonged to a very well-dressed businesswoman, one who clearly was a frequent traveler and used to the routine. This electronic device had to be removed from the luggage and placed in its own bin for scrutiny, and it caused the crowd to pause and the screener to blush. The woman, however, was unapologetic. "I don't go anywhere without Big Al," she explained.

Well, I guess this presenter has retold this story on several occasions, though today was my first time. Big Al has become a bit of a cult code among some presenters. In fact, another presenter sent a gift to the purveyor of the Big Al story. He was working in Peoria, Il, on the way to the airport after a training at a Catholic school when he spotted Big Al's strip club with merchandise for sale. He had to detour to nab a Big Al XXXL t-shirt. Of course, the packing tube made the gift complete. I love a good travel story, and this one was a peach!

174/365 This crazy job of mine

I really do enjoy this job. For the most part (and with certain noteworthy exceptions) teachers who attend these trainings have the best of intentions and reaffirm my faith in the profession of education. Most participate willingly, bring ideas and open minds, and make my job a pleasure. I haven't had a lot of work lately, but this week as I observe/facilitate some training in differentiating instruction, I am reminded about both parts of my job. The good part - the professional development and the opportunity to use my experience and knowledge, and the bad part - being away from my family and home. Coming back to work after this hiatus it feels like the good is better, but for so many reasons, the bad is worse.

172/365 Only 2 hours away

Leaving home for a work-related trip feels awful. The good news is that I'm only in Orlando. The bad news is I'm away until Thursday. Good news is that EJG feels great. Bad news is now I feel like every second away from him and our girl is potentially a lifetime. For fun I will combine all the bad and good with my laryngitis-inspired, steroid-induced emotional rollercoaster of the last few days. Alone with my thoughts, but back at home in my heart.

79/365 Kinderteacher Intro Letter

Picked up the Kinderphonics, Kindercooking, Kindermusic, and Kinderschool-age aftercare Kindercurriculum materials today. Also picked up my Kinderpolo shirts. Next week I start my Kinderjob.

69/365 Uniform Pants

I hooked up with these bad boys at Old Navy today. 3 pair, on sale. Good thing. I'll need them to go with my collared shirt. I'm the newest employee at the Kindercare, doing small group phonics, music, cooking and creative writing with the preschoolers and the Adventures program with the after-schoolers. Little pay but fun, fun, fun!

14/365 On Working

Sure, some of these guys are working hard. 3 out of 6 actually picked up tools after a 20 minute break. And the new terminals at the airport look great. But I just spent my morning at the school board office, jumping through the hoops required to substitute teach. I signed more affidavits than at a closing, and had to provide documentation for high school, college, graduate school, additional trainings, certifications, bank records, and recommendations. I think I showed them my dental records and the report from my latest mammogram. If it is agreed that I checked all the boxes, I may be called to substitute in a school for a grand $13.65 per hour. Wonder what they're paying to work on the tarmac??