A 13-Year Hiatus

It may be coincidental that I stopped Blogging around the time that I started my role at an EdTech company. I tend to be 100% in all I do, and I willingly was "all-in" as I worked to support students and teachers in accelerating learning through great teaching while using the learning platforms developed by my company. 

The laser-focus on my chosen career meant that other passions peeled away. Music and theatre, my passions from childhood, took a backseat, and I haven't tread the boards or sung a note outside the shower or my Honda in all this time. I stopped running, literally running, and even removed the rack of race completion medals from my home. It was harder to fit in running around the work schedule and the job-related travel, so I became a Peloton groupie, better able to workout in the odd hours when the road to ride or run lived in my spare room on-demand.

And on Tuesday, my 13 year focus on career was dissolved in an instant. A casualty of a corporate "Reduction in Force," I found myself wondering what to do with my mind, my heart, and my body with a sudden wide-open calendar. Job searches in the modern age don't consist of knocking doors, but rather searching remotely, and it's easy to feel like I'm not doing enough. I truly hope that I'll find that next role that can be the one for me. But in the next iteration, I have learned to keep a piece of myself away from the "all-in" spirit.

Of course, on my first full day of unemployment I scoured the job boards, linked myself in, and reconnected with old colleagues who had moved on from the company. But I spent even more time on my teenage passion project on that first day with free time, and I put together an audition for a local musical theatre production. Whether I am cast or not, it felt good to fill my house with song, to assume a character and step outside of myself for awhile,  and to think about telling someone else's story.

And today, as an avid member of the Peloton community, I was able to top a personal record I had on the bike. My humble statistics aren't anything to shout from the mountaintop, but my health journey through migraine, TIA, heart surgery, and complete recovery had set me back, and I wasn't happy with the output numbers I achieved that were so much lower than before. 

But even more than topping that record, today in that "Sweat Steady" ride taught by the phenomenal Jess King, my spirit soared past my previous personal record. As I pedaled, huffed, puffed, and sweated through the class, I listened to her talk about authenticity, owning who you are, kindness, and self-worth. As if she spoke directly to me.

So, no more 13-year hiatus from anything that feels like ME being ME. I'll strive to be the best employee possible in my next company. It's in my DNA. But I have to promise to keep my writing,  sweaty, character-assuming, singing self around too. Because authenticity is integrity, and a RIF has taught me that being me is the best thing I can do.

My Gold Star for the day!