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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Burning

I am excited/horrified at the number of commitments I have made for my extra-curricular activities. Thrilled to be singing, learning repertoire, and getting ready to perform as I may be, I mourn the long-ago days of college when waking up to practice was about all I had to do. Back then there were no worries of ESOL, grading papers, or mortgage payments. Oh well, at least with the end of The Oliver Adventure I have a little more time to wiggle. I really wish I could be a 50% person, but I find that I throw myself into everything and expect the most , not satisfied when my performance doesn't reach the 100% of my expectations. I feel that way about my teaching too, though age and exhaustion (and maybe a little wisdom) have granted me the permission to exhale and assess the situation before I berate myself too badly. I can only do the most I can do with the conditions dealt to me. Anything more than that would require superpowers, and my cape never came in the mail. Funny... another teacher I know (like maybe, the BEST teacher I ever knew) must not have realized that they give us books, not capes. Yet somehow she can fly, and take the kids along with her, and still not miss a beat as a supermom back at home. Like me, I guess, feeling that 100% sometimes isn't enough.

2 comments:

MJ said...

I hope doing SO MUCH of what you love will balance out the challenges of teaching this year. Or, you'll be too busy to notice.

This post helps me reflect and keep going; thank you. I have a homemade playsilk cape. Maybe I should wear it to work. ;)

BJNR said...

It's good to step back and shut down every once in a while. Candles that burn at both ends eventually burn out. You're too bright a light in this world to be extinguished!! Love you!