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Friday, February 20, 2009

51/365 "I Pity the Food"

I fell asleep with some random cable channel on the hotel room TV, something way past CNN, maybe channel sixty-something. Finally getting some sleep after two long, sleepless nights on the road, I was blissfully unaware of the programming flashing a few feet from my bed: Bob and his happy enhancements, William "Billy" D. Mays's abrasive pitch for orange-inspired cleaning products and tear-streaked, open-handed televangelists. Tossing in the sheets this morning attempting to eke out every possible ounce of sleep, I was stirred by the most preposterous sight. Mr. T stood behind a studio kitchen counter, marveling at the moisture of steaks prepared in the Flavor Wave Turbo Oven. This was so overdone I thought it was a Saturday Night Live parody. As he tasted each Flavor Waved treat he delivered his traditional Mr. T-isms, sternly admonishing the audience to knock out fat and calories. How can I improve my day after a start like that?

2 comments:

BJNR said...

Go back to the Towson Diner! Hysterical post! Made my morning!

MJ said...

This is why the Sleep button was invented on TV's.